Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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