I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
