remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
