So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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