He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
