Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
