I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
