Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I didn't notice because vodka
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
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