I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Randomize
