what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
