Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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