Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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