I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
