Need sex. Gaining weight.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
