I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So vagazzling was a success
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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