hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The uberlube is also flammable
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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