Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
