I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
