used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize