Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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