i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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