I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
