You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
