I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
