im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
