FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I party with great urgency now.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
