how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
