i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
