we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
