Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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