haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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