I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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