Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
tell me about the fingering
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