She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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