You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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