is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize