do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
