Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
