Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
