we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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