Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
