Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
