I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
And then my night got REAL pukey
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
