dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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