I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We need to rekindle our bromance
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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