nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
