i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Your dad touched me again.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
