By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
