Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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