His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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