I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
