Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Two words: blizzard sex
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
soo... how was my night?
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